The following is a report from the Korean Central News Agency, the official propaganda arm of the North Korean autocracy, as written and approved by the dictatorship.

The North Korean government brought in famed “retired” newscaster Ri Chun Hee to announce the successful launch of the Hwasong-14 missile.

The missile is part of the regime’s growing nuclear weapons program.  North Korea has around 30 nuclear warheads, but none yet small enough to be delivered by missile.

“Our intercontinental ballistic rocket can reach anywhere in this world, and we can end America’s nuclear threat and bring peace to the Korean peninsula,” Ri reads.

That’s not true, but some independent sources believe Hwasong-14 is capable of striking the United States.

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